Current mood:	crushed
Current music:	N.E.R.D. "chariot of fire" & " maybe"

i'm so sorry/Cedar point ugh
I'm so sorry! i haven't been here to do this so i'll take the time do do this now. i appologize to all those i was suppose to be with last sat. i was detained if you will. i went to the wedding reception at 5 p.m. and no one would bring me back this way until 9:30 p.m., and yes i was very upset. out of my whole day i was looking forward to the fireworks with you guys the most. instead it was replaced with a night of b-day partying. some would say that's not bad, but you weren't there. i would have given my left arm to have hung out with you guys instead. oh yeah sorry for not returning any phone calls but it was late and i didn't want tot desturb anyone. let's see what else? oh...then i awake sun. barley looking forward to this cerar point trip, and then i'm told that were going to stay the night in ohio. wow, i don't remember anyone mentioning that. which made me not want to go, but i did any way. i can't say i totally regret it, but i do know at one point i missed being back here so much that i did cry. i guess what also made me do that isthe fact that at least three out of four of my friends basically said thati don't do good deeds just to so them. that i alwawys want and/or expect something in return, and let me tell you that really hurts. so every time i did domething kind for them it's because i was looking for something in return? do they really think i'm that selfish? can they really be that selfish? were they telling me that they do things for me wanting or expecting something? that struck me hard, very hard, and i started to think to myself why am i here? i could be at home talking to people i think would never say or do that. at least i hope not. i don't know, but i did suck it up after three hrs. sleep and went on with the trip. i acted as if today was the first day i'd hung out with them, and well that got me through. it wasan't terribly fun but not horrible either and i guess that's enough for me. well we just got in maybe an hr. ago and i have a couple more things to do, so i'll be leaving you folks. until the next time good night and god bless.